Helping Kids Shine at Family Gatherings: Tips for a Joyful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for family, food, and fun, but for kids, large gatherings can sometimes feel overwhelming. The combination of new faces, unfamiliar environments, and long mealtimes can lead to restlessness and emotional challenges. At STAR Therapy Services, we know how important it is for everyone—including kids—to have a positive, memorable holiday. Here are some strategies to help your child feel comfortable, stay engaged, and shine at family gatherings.

1. Prepare Them for What to Expect

Giving kids a heads-up about the day’s events can help them feel prepared and less anxious. Go over the plan for Thanksgiving Day: Who will be there, what you’ll be doing, and the expected timeline. If your child knows what to expect, they may feel more secure and better able to handle transitions.

• Example Script: "We’ll start at home, then go to Grandma’s for lunch. You’ll see Aunt Sarah, Uncle Jack, and your cousins. After lunch, you can play outside for a bit, and later we’ll have dessert!"

2. Create a Kid-Friendly Zone

Designate an area where children can retreat if they need a break from the hustle and bustle. Fill the space with some of their favorite toys, books, or even a small activity kit. It can be helpful to provide a quiet corner or area with pillows or blankets where they can decompress if they feel overstimulated.

• What to Include: Coloring books, puzzles, fidget toys, or a family-friendly movie on a tablet with headphones can be a lifesaver.

3. Practice Gratitude Together

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, so why not get kids involved in the tradition? Involve them in creating a gratitude list or craft before or during the gathering. Not only is this a fun activity, but it also encourages a positive mindset and keeps them engaged with the holiday’s meaning.

• Activity Idea: Make a “Thankfulness Turkey” with paper feathers where each feather represents something your child is thankful for. This can be a beautiful centerpiece and a conversation starter!

4. Incorporate Physical Activity

Kids often have pent-up energy, so a bit of physical activity can help release it! Incorporate a family-friendly game before or after the meal, like tag, a mini football game, or even a short walk outside. Physical activity helps kids regulate their emotions and makes it easier for them to stay calm and focused.

• Game Ideas: Set up an outdoor scavenger hunt, play "Simon Says," or organize a relay race with siblings or cousins.

5. Give Them Small Tasks and Responsibilities

Letting kids contribute to the holiday by helping out gives them a sense of pride and focus. Simple tasks like setting the table, carrying napkins, or helping with dessert can make them feel involved and important.

• Tip: Frame tasks as a “special job” just for them! This can keep their attention and foster independence.

6. Practice Mindful Breathing Together

If you notice your child getting overwhelmed, introduce them to a simple breathing exercise. This can help them calm down and refocus. Model a few deep breaths together to help them feel more relaxed.

• Breathing Technique: Try “flower breathing”—have your child imagine holding a flower, take a slow breath in to “smell” the flower, and then blow out slowly like they’re blowing the petals softly.

7. Set Clear Expectations for Behavior

Before heading into the family gathering, calmly go over behavior expectations with your child in a positive way. Focus on the things they can do, such as playing quietly, using manners, and taking turns when speaking. Reinforcing positive behavior will help them feel confident and prepared.

• Tip: Keep expectations simple and age-appropriate, and praise them for positive behavior throughout the day.

8. Acknowledge Their Emotions

Holiday gatherings can be full of big emotions, so remind kids it’s okay to feel a range of feelings—excitement, nervousness, or even tiredness. Acknowledge and validate how they feel. If they need a moment, offer to take a quiet break together or encourage them to use their designated “quiet space.”

• Example Language: “I know there’s a lot going on and that can feel like a lot! Let’s go sit together for a minute and take a few breaths if you need a little break.”

9. Keep Snacks Handy

Long mealtimes or delayed dinners can be tough on kids who might get “hangry” waiting for the big meal. Bring along healthy, mess-free snacks to keep them satisfied and avoid low-blood-sugar meltdowns before the feast.

• Snack Ideas: Sliced apples, cheese sticks, or veggie sticks with dip can help keep their energy up without ruining their appetite for the big meal.

10. Celebrate Small Wins and Enjoy the Moment

Remember, the holidays aren’t about perfection! Celebrate the small moments, like a shared laugh, a cooperative playtime, or a moment of calm. Kids are more likely to engage positively when they feel supported, loved, and appreciated. Let go of expectations and enjoy the time together—these moments will be the ones you and your child remember.

Final Thoughts

By preparing kids with tools and strategies, you can help them—and yourself—navigate the Thanksgiving festivities with confidence and joy. Remember that flexibility and patience go a long way, and if things don’t go exactly as planned, that’s okay. Thanksgiving is all about being together and creating memories, and with a little mindful support, your child can have a positive experience while being their best self.

From all of us at STAR Therapy Services, we wish you and your family a joyful, relaxed, and mindful Thanksgiving!